Fabiana Claure
Pianist - Business Coach for Musicians
Empathy, Motherhood, and Business
by Fabiana Claure on August 27th, 2020

Can you envision any parallels between the way you approach your business and how you parent?
 
As we are now coming back to school and our kids are entering a new routine, I’m curious to know what that looks like for you and your family.⁣
 
A few weeks ago, my son Fabio was attending a summer school program, and one Monday morning, he was having a hard time thinking about going back to school.
 
After all this family bonding time over the weekend, he was struggling to let it go and start a new week again with school.⁣
 
He was deliberately boycotting everything he needed to do before going to school, just laying on the couch and not getting dressed, eating breakfast, nor tidying up his room.
 
I asked him why he was doing this.⁣ He said he didn’t want to go back to school.⁣
 
At first, my initial instinct was to get him back on track and tell him:⁣
 
“We need to get back to the schedule. We need to get you ready. It’s getting late and we need to get there on time.”
 
(Notice: I would have been very much driven toward the outcome and end goal rather than acknowledging the present concern and barrier.)⁣
 
However, I’ve been receiving parenting coaching and reading some books that have opened up a new perspective for me in a way that not only has improved my parenting but also my work as a business coach for musicians.⁣
 
One of the big topics that keep coming up is the concept of empathy and learning how to redirect and guide your child into a different behavior by taking the time to acknowledge the present – putting yourself in their shoes before you try to redirect.⁣
 
Instead of employing my usual parenting style, I stopped everything I was doing, hugged him, and shared with him that I would not have wanted to go to school either, especially after such a fun weekend.
 
I told him I too would love to just spend my whole day with him, lounging on the couch just cuddling together.
 
I explained to him that I wanted to be with him too. That would be ideal. But it’s not realistic, we all have to get back to our routines in order to reach our goals.⁣
 
It took some time, but it worked.⁣
 
He felt seen, accepted the reality, and moved on without much resistance or friction.⁣
 
Yesterday was the first day of school and he had to yet again start a new routine (he is doing a hybrid version of in-person and online school).
 
I made sure to stay very attuned to his needs during the whole morning routine and help him feel safe and connected.
 
Fortunately, he felt excited to start his new school schedule and things went pretty smoothly this time around.
 
As I was reflecting on this, I started drawing parallels to business.⁣
 
One of the best things I can do is empathize and really LISTEN to my coaching clients.⁣
 
I need to constantly remind myself that their needs and feelings need to be acknowledged and validated BEFORE I guide them into the best course of action for starting their businesses.⁣
 
There is a very close relationship between the way you parent and the way you coach others.⁣
 
Empathy can be a driving force to create that connection before you try to help them establish visibility, or understand their niche, or figure out what financial models are out there.⁣
 
Empathy is the first step.⁣
 
Not only with your existing clients but also with your prospective clients.⁣
 
If you’re trying to market and GAIN followers, you should focus on your ability to empathize and put yourself in their shoes.⁣
 
You may have been there 5 years ago – we oftentimes build businesses based on the roadblocks we faced – but it’s SO easy to disassociate your present self with where you were 5 years ago…⁣
 
The importance of empathy transcends all our relationships in life, whether it’s clients, friends, or family.⁣
 
I encourage you to share here in the comments and let me know…
 
Do you feel you understand your clients well enough?
 
What are the steps that you’ve taken to empathize with your clients or prospective clients?⁣
 
I look forward to hearing from you.


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